Quotes from the Eliminator!
Here are some of the greatest words ever to come from the Man himself, Marc North. Some good ones from the Woman as well, Miss Wynters.
MARC: Unforgiven... big guy, probably wore black a lot, long hair I'll bet **leans close** He probably melled-say alot-say...
(Describing Unforgiven to an old woman)
WYNTERS: Kick him in the kidney and see if he wets himself.
(After stopping Marc from beating up an interviewer)
MARC: While I can't speak for Triple X, I can say I am full prepared to make Not-so-Dangerous Donny the newest star in my action packed blockbuster, "Dangerous Donny sucks down a beating like a Saigon Whore on Candy!".
(Marc cutting a promo for his tag match against Nightmare Inc)
MARC: If I put Warlock, Reaper and Unforgiven all in a dark room, shook it up and poured them out, we wouldn't be able to tell any of them apart.
(Marc describes the NECWF problems with "dead guy" gimmicks)
MARC: I think you do Kelly... go ahead and speak your mind, I won't lay a hand on you.
(Seconds before Marc kicks the crap out of Kelly for speaking his mind)
MARC: Be prepared....
(Sounds familiar)
MARC: You... will... be........ Eliminated!!
(That one does too)
MARC: Dangerous Donny, you can go F--k yourself
(A special taped message made with care and respect by Marc for Danny Triumph)
ROSS JONES: We're priviledged to have Marc North here with us...
MARC: Yes you are Ross.
MARC: Who the hell is Ozzy-?....... Terry, if you every raise your voice at me again I'm going to stick your headset so far up your ass you'll need a tongue depressor to do a mic check, got it?
MARC: Yeah, I know you're big, but I've beaten big guys. I know you're intense, but I've beaten intense guys. I know you like to hump gym bags, but.......... well, you've got me there!
(Marc talking about Big John Hurtin')
MARC: And on the flip side, we have my apparent tag team partners tonight Slate and Robn Bomb, and while I have nothing against these men personally, how can you say, "Who is this Marc North guy?"... I mean, who is Marc North? Marc North is the Eliminator, the Man, the Real World Icon and definitely the number one man in the NECWF.. daresay I that Marc North is the reason you boys get paid!
(Marc responds to Slate and Robn Bomb claiming they don't know who he is)
(Marc steals one from the witty Terri)
(Marc goes on and on and on and on)
KEVIN: Sorry to interrupt your lunch Marc, but with your rehab and the road schedule, we haven't had time to talk.
MARC: Oh yeah no problem.
KEVIN: Really?
MARC: Yeah, I love having my few moments of personal time interrupted by you Kevin Shamrock, it adds a certain touch of... violent tendency to my day.
(Kevin Shamrock interrupts Marc at lunch.)
MARC: And then we have this goon Johnny Vain! Big Nasty! Always talking in third person like he's a half a retard! Marc North hates people who talk in third person, it drives him nuts!
(Marc slams Johnny Vain)
MARC: I mean the Future of the NECWF? Kid, the only future Jake's gonna see is when I knock his ass into next week.
(Jake Keeton gets a stern talking to!)
OFFICER: Did you enjoy your visit to Canada sir?
MARC: F--k off.
(Marc passes through customs after a trip to the Great White North.)
(Marc addresses Mark "Mick" Jones.)
(Marc comes out to the FON music and surprises the "fans")
GARY: Hi Marc! I love you!
MARC: Yeah... thats real nice Gary. I didn't know there were any queer dinosaurs.
GARY: What!?
(Marc visits the set of "Gary and Friends")
MARC: So you just come on down, and I'll kick your ass. Bring Mike Not-so-Marvelous down too, we'll share the ass kicking with him as well. Hell, we can even save a piece of Ass Kick Pie for Jacob Jackass too! Damn, I've got enough asskicking for all three of you and your mother. And in case you're thinking I haven't said ass enough in the last four sentences, ass ass ass ass ass!!
(Ass is the word of the day.)
WYNTERS: Are you listening to me?
MARC: No... I was just thinking of Red Hurricane promos and I fell asleep.
(Marc's sleeping secrets.)
(Marc has a problem with Mikey Mayhem.)
(Marc, referring to a steel chair he uses to attack Jake Keeton with.)
(Miss Wynters talking about the Razor Blade promo she just sat through.)
MARC: I want to get this over with... if I have to fight this retard one more time, we're going to WCW!
WYNTERS: Don't talk crazy Marc!
(Marc is frustrated about having to fight Mikey Mayhem a second time.)
MARC: And wait, it gets worse. Mike Marvelous... Mike, what exactly do you mean by the term "Pepperoni Smuggler?"
(Jacob Jackson and Mike Marvelous are confronted at Total AnniHELLation.)
MARC: And in case I'm not being real clear here Mike, in three hours, in this very ring I am going to take you and I am going to take Jake Keeton and then I'm going to beat you down, mash you up and stick you in your very own Marvelotion-f--king-bottle and stick you right up Jacob Jerkoff's ass. And then Jacob, no matter how bad it gets, no matter how bad you feel, you can always remember that Mike Marvelous, Jake Keeton and a f--king gallon of Marvelotion are up your ass... Just like the good old days!!
(Marc has something in mind for the members of POP.)
MARC: You're in the woods. You're on a path, a path to Total AnniHELLation. The path forks, and you must decide which path it is you will take. Will you take the path less travelled, or.... and Oh F--k while you're standing there making up your mind I walk up and beat your ass with a chair, because THERE is no way out of this Mike!
(Marc North does Robert Frost... sort of.)
MARC: But when you see that mic, and they hold it out to you... just say no Big D! Say no to Promo! Say no to the Droning! Say no to the Boredom! Do it for me! Do it for you! Do it for the fans! But most of all... ah just shut the f--k up!
(Marc warns Big Daveylicious about the dangers of boring promos.)
(Marc North's Big D imitation.)
(Marc slams his hometown.)
MARC: .No one walks into a ring, sees Marc North and says "I'm going to win." At best you say, "How am I going to win?" At worst you say, "F--k, I'm screwed." And as it's going Creature, F--k, you're screwed.
(Saying it like it is...)